Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
