Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
