just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
