either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
