me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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