Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
