Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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