i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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