1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
