Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You need a sexual gate keeper
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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