Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
