..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
