As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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