How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
