My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
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My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
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My penis needs a shock collar
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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