So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i out mim tonsoeep
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