I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
