i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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