if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
as a side note pls kill me
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