I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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