The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
