Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Im part way to drunk.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
