People with herpes should wear stickers.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I cut my penus on the lid.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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