Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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