My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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