Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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