bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
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I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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