things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
