Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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