one might say we're banned from that church
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
