So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
