Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
