"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
