after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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