Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
