It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
