did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
