The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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