I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
