My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize