uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
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I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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