Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
