you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
a search helicopter?!
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
