So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
