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i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
