I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
How external is "for external use only"?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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