I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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