I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
