if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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