how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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