Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
