her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
