You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
