Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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