guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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