my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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