dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
